Unnamed Composition 1

I can sense myself dying*
Each day I live passes into a past I cannot return to*
Nor should I - I desire only its flavour*
Each hour turned to sand *
Falls in piles that collapse under themselves*
Bring sights I feel and wish to share*
But no one ever can*
The thought could break my heart*
It does, pieces fall*
Too large to drop through time's glass grasp*
They lie trapped, imprisoning memories*
As the sand of me slips by.*
*
But yet still I cannot feel*
Each moment congeals around me*
A skin that dulls my senses*
Removes them one further step from reality*
Or life; one further grain*
*
What tested my palate before*
My nose, my eyes*
Lies jaded; like drugs*
I must go farther*
To speak to heaven through carved circles of white*
One further grain, one thousand cups*
To be as high*
Before I fell myself*
*
What I feel I cannot trap*
Cannot enjoy, for now no illusion*
Binds me to the eternity of youth*
I know time passes*
What I see will fade*
I cannot share it*
Make it live by passing on*
And so I cry*
I never knew drops could fall like sand.***